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Comment on Ask HN: How do I ask for a salary increase?parent

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Putting them in the position of thinking they have to offer you "stay money" without first having the decency to just sit down and have an honest talk with them is a slap in the face.

As I said, you don't demand "stay money" from your boss first thing. You just tell him you feel you deserve $X and have the exact honest conversation you describe. That's step 2) of my plan.

You only mention competitive offers to your boss after he tries to lowball you. Without hitting the market, you'll never know if your boss is lowballing you and you'll also have no leverage for negotiation. That's step 3, if your boss didn't give you a satisfactory package.

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