Excellent interview. Yes, he mostly ignores the people who've had success, but I don't think it really detracts much from the overall point. I've had some success with online dating but I agree that it's generally an unsatisfying experience much the way he describes it. (3-6 hours of work per cup of coffee pretty much nails it).
The points about sharing experience are accurate, except that I would focus in particular on shared experiences with multiple people at once. A big weakness in online dating is that it's tends to be a series of one-on-one interactions. Unless one of you is really good at seducing strangers, and does it right away, it's going to be hard to sustain those one-on-one interactions long enough to turn into a relationship.
At least one person has to take the step to integrate into the other's social network, and it has to happen quickly, or else it's not likely to go anywhere. The way offline dating tends to work is that you meet someone in a social situation. You interact with them for a few moments at a time, with frequent breaks while you each socialize with other people. You have opportunities to observe the person discreetly as well as interact with them. You send each other signals and at some point you find some privacy and get more serious.
A dating site that encouraged that sort of thing might be more successful. (okcupid tries to encourage a variety of behaviors but ultimately their design still winds up facilitating the one-on-one chat -> date paradigm)
Comments
Excellent interview. Yes, he mostly ignores the people who've had success, but I don't think it really detracts much from the overall point. I've had some success with online dating but I agree that it's generally an unsatisfying experience much the way he describes it. (3-6 hours of work per cup of coffee pretty much nails it).
The points about sharing experience are accurate, except that I would focus in particular on shared experiences with multiple people at once. A big weakness in online dating is that it's tends to be a series of one-on-one interactions. Unless one of you is really good at seducing strangers, and does it right away, it's going to be hard to sustain those one-on-one interactions long enough to turn into a relationship.
At least one person has to take the step to integrate into the other's social network, and it has to happen quickly, or else it's not likely to go anywhere. The way offline dating tends to work is that you meet someone in a social situation. You interact with them for a few moments at a time, with frequent breaks while you each socialize with other people. You have opportunities to observe the person discreetly as well as interact with them. You send each other signals and at some point you find some privacy and get more serious.
A dating site that encouraged that sort of thing might be more successful. (okcupid tries to encourage a variety of behaviors but ultimately their design still winds up facilitating the one-on-one chat -> date paradigm)