1. Please show me a state with a per capta gdp that approaches one from the third world.
2. Your wife may be forcing you to stay in state to be with her. Either celebrate your marriage and don't bitch about how it's bringing you down or move on.
It's not a dichotomy; you could equally tell his wife to "celebrate their marriage and not bitch" about moving to somewhere with more opportunities. You should not think about someone's happiness, that does not also think about your own.
I think you making a totally fair point about the symmetry of the situation. However, I think his attitude (and by symmetry probably hers too) is an unhealthy one. He can always think, "were it not for her attitude I, errr we, could be more successful". This is quite a negative thought to hold in your head with someone that you should have an amicable rapport with.
>You should not think about someone's happiness, that does not also think about your own.
I guess you can live by that, but I certainly don't like the dynamics of this towards the limit. If somebody is hurting I don't mind trying to say something. Suffering isn't cool.
Are you married? There is much more to marriage then love. It is a legally binding contract and there are serious consequences for breaking it. Not to mention the social and emotional consequences. There are usually children involved.
If that is your line of reasoning for staying married, it's an unhealthy situation, probably not good for the kids, etc.
People in such situations should focus on communication and progress, possibly with the help of a therapist. Or end the marriage. But plodding along blaming your spouse for your terrible lot in life is no way to raise a family (or save some money).
I've been married 10 years. It's up and down, but in the end, it's what you make of it.
Point taken, but sometimes people just like to bitch about things. It doesn't always mean much. There is always a struggle between selfishness and selflessness. Sometimes marriage is a zero sum game.
GDP is a really bad measure in this case. First of all, the cost of even living, even 3rd-word-level living, is substantially higher here. Additionally, a lot of those 3rd world economies are composed largely of "non-market operations" (subsistence farming, for example) that don't get counted in GDP since they're not a cash transaction.
Also, though the state overall may not be that low, there may be parts of the state that are pretty bad. Rural parts of West Virginia come to mind.
An aside: The area with the 2nd-worst standard of living in the Western Hemisphere is in the US. It's the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. It doesn't quite apply to this conversation since it's an Indian reservation, but it is a good reminder of just how badly we screwed over the natives.
Hey guys, I'm the one he was criticizing, and I'm voting him back up off 0 on this comment.
1. That may have been hyperbole. A better way to phrase it would be "A state where the tech sector seems to have as little presence as a country with no tech sector at all."
2. My wife and I talked after this. She said she understands the sacrifice I'm making to stay here. I said I I understand that she wants to live near her family.
Comments
1. Please show me a state with a per capta gdp that approaches one from the third world.
2. Your wife may be forcing you to stay in state to be with her. Either celebrate your marriage and don't bitch about how it's bringing you down or move on.
It's not a dichotomy; you could equally tell his wife to "celebrate their marriage and not bitch" about moving to somewhere with more opportunities. You should not think about someone's happiness, that does not also think about your own.
I think you making a totally fair point about the symmetry of the situation. However, I think his attitude (and by symmetry probably hers too) is an unhealthy one. He can always think, "were it not for her attitude I, errr we, could be more successful". This is quite a negative thought to hold in your head with someone that you should have an amicable rapport with.
>You should not think about someone's happiness, that does not also think about your own.
I guess you can live by that, but I certainly don't like the dynamics of this towards the limit. If somebody is hurting I don't mind trying to say something. Suffering isn't cool.
Are you married? There is much more to marriage then love. It is a legally binding contract and there are serious consequences for breaking it. Not to mention the social and emotional consequences. There are usually children involved.
If that is your line of reasoning for staying married, it's an unhealthy situation, probably not good for the kids, etc.
People in such situations should focus on communication and progress, possibly with the help of a therapist. Or end the marriage. But plodding along blaming your spouse for your terrible lot in life is no way to raise a family (or save some money).
I've been married 10 years. It's up and down, but in the end, it's what you make of it.
Point taken, but sometimes people just like to bitch about things. It doesn't always mean much. There is always a struggle between selfishness and selflessness. Sometimes marriage is a zero sum game.
GDP is a really bad measure in this case. First of all, the cost of even living, even 3rd-word-level living, is substantially higher here. Additionally, a lot of those 3rd world economies are composed largely of "non-market operations" (subsistence farming, for example) that don't get counted in GDP since they're not a cash transaction.
Also, though the state overall may not be that low, there may be parts of the state that are pretty bad. Rural parts of West Virginia come to mind.
An aside: The area with the 2nd-worst standard of living in the Western Hemisphere is in the US. It's the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. It doesn't quite apply to this conversation since it's an Indian reservation, but it is a good reminder of just how badly we screwed over the natives.
Hey guys, I'm the one he was criticizing, and I'm voting him back up off 0 on this comment.
1. That may have been hyperbole. A better way to phrase it would be "A state where the tech sector seems to have as little presence as a country with no tech sector at all."
2. My wife and I talked after this. She said she understands the sacrifice I'm making to stay here. I said I I understand that she wants to live near her family.
so his choice is to either celebrate his marriage, or celibate it? I'll take celebrate for 900, Alex.