That's good copy. I think it's very good, actually.
But it's use of "global impact," "interoperability," "integrated," and passages like, "The award-winning EpicCare EMR is known for being fast and physician-friendly. Integrated access and revenue systems simplify administration," are the kinds of things that get made fun of unfairly.
It's an easy target because so often those terms are over-used, but as someone else commented here in talking about "full service, end-to-end, etc." sometimes you have awkward or niche language because you're describing something awkward or niche.
Comments
Tone is not the issue. The issue is writing which communicates nothing.
Here is how one might write copy for medical software:
http://www.epic.com/about-index.php
If you look around their site you might be pleasantly surprised. You might also notice that they do not write press releases.
That's good copy. I think it's very good, actually.
But it's use of "global impact," "interoperability," "integrated," and passages like, "The award-winning EpicCare EMR is known for being fast and physician-friendly. Integrated access and revenue systems simplify administration," are the kinds of things that get made fun of unfairly.
It's an easy target because so often those terms are over-used, but as someone else commented here in talking about "full service, end-to-end, etc." sometimes you have awkward or niche language because you're describing something awkward or niche.
Not all abstract language is empty.